What books should I read during pregnancy?

WE’RE SO GLAD YOU’RE HERE!

This reading list is meant to facilitate your experience as a new parent. You might be solo, partnered, a surrogate or a unicorn and because of that, we know that each book on the reading list won’t fit your exact needs. So we suggest taking everything you read with a grain of salt! 

If there truly was one parenting or birth method that was perfected, then there wouldn’t be a million more out there also claiming the same thing. Soak up the info and treat it like the spaghetti you throw at the wall. Some it will stick… and A LOT of it won’t. That’s okay. Find the combination of tools that works best for YOU.

We aim to help you find resources that match your values, lifestyle, budget and insurance options. 

We don’t believe there’s “one way” to have or parent a baby. 

We want to help you find “your way”. This could be helping you discovering a like-minded community-- or combining five methods to fit your individualized needs.

These books cover the most common variations of the process for you to think through ahead of time.

You’ve got this. And we’ve got you.

READING LIST: 

The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin :: A complete guide to childbirth for dads, partners, doulas, and other labor companions.

Doula reco: medium-strong

Philosophy: On point for the variables of the process, gives families lots of options to cope, fairly neutral in language of family configuration. 

Book Summary:

I have seen this book recommended for my entire career as a Doula. It does a pretty good job of outlining the experience and its typical variations. The language is fairly neutral using the term, “birth partner” instead of father. The book speaks directly to the pregnant person and the birth partner, so you don’t really read any direct mother/father language. But the cover of the book is a man, woman and female support, so there is an undertone of assumption on family configuration. If it feels important to you to know every possible outcome of the process, this book will go more in depth on urgent/emergent or less likely scenarios. If you feel pressed for time, or reading isn’t your main mode of learning, I’d suggest hitting the Doula spotlights below!

Doula spotlight on the most common variations:
PG 22-23 Good questions to reflect on for the supporting parent/person

PG 42 Tracking fetal movements as a good practice for safety and bonding

PG 44-49 Guidance around making a “birth plan”/”birth preferences”

PG 56-57 Guidance around preparing to meet basic needs in postpartum

PG 63-67 The signs of labor starting/lengths/components of labor

PG 74-76 How labor progresses

PG 87. Understanding the birthing parent/person’s mental/emotional needs

PG 96 Understanding the supporting parent/person’s mental emotional needs

PG 99-110 Understanding active labor/transition and common things to be mindful of

PG 127-128 Crowning and Pushing 

PG 161-178 Breathwork and movement for coping

PG 196-197 Maintaining the vibe

PG 212-224 Tools for induction, helping labor progress and tactics for back labor

PG 376-386 What to expect from the birthing person’s recovery and newborn needs in the first few days to weeks

What should I do if I can't pee after delivery?

The bladder can be impacted by how your baby descends into your pelvis and how they exit your body. It’s common to have difficulty peeing after delivery. Here are some of the ways we’ve seen families find success:

1. Put 10-15 drops of peppermint oil into the toilet and sniff the bottle as you try to pee.

2. Run water and/or put your hands into a container of warm water like you’re back in middle school.

3. Blow bubbles through a straw into a cup of water.

4. Lean to the left to help release tension.

5. Have everyone step out and take some deep breaths on your own for a few minutes.

6. Ask for a warm wash cloth to hold to your perineum. Use light counter pressure and pee into your hand.

7. Sit in a few inches of warm water, or in a chair in the shower.

Will I poop during labor or pushing?

After watching hundreds of people come out of people, what I know to be true about pooping in labor is this:

Nurses are ninjas and I RARELY see it--but 99% of you do it. TRUTH.

Almost all of the families I support evacuate their bowels at some point in labor. Picture the rectum, the cervix and the bladder as three super closer friends-- who always want to be up in each other’s business. They decide to throw a party, but that party is in a broom closet. Now picture a baby who has serious FOMO and is pressing in on all of those friends because they want to join the party too… ya’ll the party is big and the room is small. There is nowhere for anyone to go but out. So just as satisfying as it is to squeeze that last little bit of toothpaste out of the tube-- so it is similarly satisfying for your baby to squeeze every little bit of liquid and matter out of the way in order to make space for their arrival. It’s normal, it’s physiologically necessary and an outward sign that shows your care team you’re progressing farther toward delivery. We get pumped, your baby gets closer to the exit and you get to feel just a little bit lighter ;). 

Curious what others on the Brave Birth Team have to say about pooping in labor?

Nicolette Wessling of @bravebirthdoulacare says, “My favorite resource on pushing is from the book Mindful Birthing, by Nancy Bardacke. She has a section on “mindful pooping” that helps families connect to the muscles they’ll use in their pelvic floors.”

Rachael Wilson of @milkandthistledoula says, “I had a birthing person tell me that she will be really good at birthing because she is really good at pooping. And what do you know, she leaned against her counter and pushed her giant baby out with no direction from us and no tearing. Badass. So that’s my affirmation on pooping! Also very encouraging knowing we are establishing baby’s microbiome and initial immunity! I did not know til the other day that although babies receive prebiotics gestationally, they don’t actually have any bacterial flora until it’s established through birth. I just finished a book that encouraged me called Brain Health From Birth and the last chapter is all about the microbiome.” 

Tanya Hladick of @tanyadoulaphotographer says, “I like to reassure them that none of their practitioners will even bat an eye when poop happens. Pooping is a sign that they’re pushing effectively.”

Jennifer Lunceford says, “I explain ahead of time what the sensations might be and remind them what a great symptom of delivery it is, that their care team is very adept at disposing of it quickly-- either by changing the disposable pad underneath or using a cloth to whisk it away so that you can focus. Sh*t happens in birth. Practice pushing when you poo, it’s all about release.” 

Barb Buckner-Suarez of @bbucknersuarez says, “I make sure they know that pretty much 100% of folks are gonna poop at least a little bit when they're pushing their baby out because the there's just not much real estate when it comes time. Also, I encourage them prenatally to start thinking every time they poop, "This is what it's going to feel like when I'm pushing out my babe" because the brain will do this weird thing of like, "Wrong hole! Wrong hole!" and inadvertently, they will hold back and that makes the pushing stage WAY longer than it has to be. Lastly, folks need really good guidance when pushing so they know they're making progress. I think the brain is expecting to be able to feel different body parts moving through - but it's a solid wall of pressure until the head is delivered. So they need to know that and then have someone tell them they are making good progress throughout (shortens 2nd stage for sure!)”